Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person

Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person

A vibrant, compelling memoir from a remarkable young woman that bravely reveals the real-life havoc wrought by depression and the urgent search for solutions. Illuminating, completely engaging—it's essential reading for all since we all know someone whose life, family or friends are touched by the disease that directly afflicts a fifth of Canadians.

In her early twenties, while outwardly thriving in her dream job and enjoying warm familial support and a strong social network, award-winning journalist Anna Mehler Paperny found herself trapped by feelings of failure and despair. Her first suicide attempt—ingesting a deadly mix of sleeping pills and antifreeze—landed her in the ICU, followed by weeks of enforced detention that ran the gamut of horrifying, boring, hilarious, and absurd. This was Anna's entry into the labyrinthine psychiatric care system responsible for providing care to millions of Canadians.

As she struggled to survive the psych ward and as an outpatient—enduring the "survivor's" shame of facing concerned family, friends, and co-workers; finding (or not) the right therapist, the right meds; staying healthy, insured, and employed—Anna could not help but turn her demanding journalist's eye on her condition and on the system in which she found herself. She set off on a quest to "know her enemy," interviewing leading practitioners in the field across Canada and the US—from psychiatrists to neurological experts, brain-mapping pioneers to heroic family practitioners, and others dabbling in novel hypotheses. She reveals in courageously frank detail her own experiences with the pharmacological pitfalls and side effects of long-term treatment, and offers moving case studies of conversations with others, opening wide a window into how we treat (and fail to treat) the disease that accounts for more years swallowed up by disability than any other in the world.

Title:Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person
Edition Language:English
ISBN:9780735272828
Format Type:

    Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me: Depression in the First Person Reviews

  • Schizanthus Nerd

    This book is part memoir and part journalistic investigation, with a fair amount of acknowledged subjectivity based on the author’s experiences with depression, suicidal ideation and attempts, and v...

  •  Sarah Lumos

    If you are struggling with depression or another serious psychological disorder, then I do not recommend reading this book. You know yourself best and if you are feeling triggered or ruminating abou...

  • Susan

    I don’t think I have adequate words to express just how powerful and moving this story was. There were so many points where I just had to put it down for a bit and process what I had read. The conte...

  • Zoe

    Informative, honest, and perceptive!Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me is the first-hand, candid story of Anna Mehler Paperny’s personal, ongoing struggle with suicidal ideation and depression, as we...

  • darce vader

    Everyone who loves me should read this. It's heavy - take care if this topic is difficult for you....

  • Erin

    Full disclosure: I’m someone who has struggled with severe depression for most of my life. That’s why I was instantly drawn to this book (the title is hilarious!) and why I would give it all the s...

  • Javeed Sukhera

    This book should be required reading for every psychiatry resident and highly recommended for every medical student. It is an honest, humane portrayal of everything about serious mental illness that h...

  • Lisa

    Thank you Penguin Random House Canada and Netgalley for a copy of Hello I Want To Die Please Fix Me by Anna Mehler Paprny for review.Hello I Want To Die Please Fix Me is a combination memoir and non f...

  • Jarrah

    Anna Mehler Paperny's Hello I Want to Die Please Fix Me is both a powerful memoir of depression and suicidality and a call to action for better care, particularly in Canada and the United States. Pape...

  • Andrea Hill

    This was an informative, important, heart-tugging read. "Eight hundred thousand people around the kill themselves every year, that means about twenty-two hundred a day, or three every two minutes"Year...